As my beloved readers may be aware, it is well known in the best literary circles that in the next few months I will become a highly acclaimed new novelist. It is my intention that the income from my pensmanship will make JK Rowling's look like that of a benefits claimant who has recently had their disability living allowance re-assessed by Yurfitandelffyenuftowork PLC.
I have realised that this will inevitably mean that my blog posts will become of great monetary as well as literary value. Thus, this is to warn any would be plagiarists that I have asserted my copyright of all such blog posts and photographs. Furthermore, I have instructed my solicitors, Messrs Skullcracker, Knuckleduster and Flicknife that they are to show no mercy as they tear the shirt off the back, then make destitute and homeless, any miscreant who steals my written work or photography (ie pretty pictures). They will then suffer slow starvation, so sending them to an early, bleak and maggot ridden pauper's grave outwith consecrated ground.